Entry Sixteen: Hey, Grandpa Rich.

Hey, Grandpa Rich. I wish I could have shared many cherished memories with you. Memories of me in your arms as we hug tightly. I wish I would have known you better. I wish I could have loved you more.
Hey, Grandpa Rich. I wish I could hug you one last time. I wish we could have danced around all silly like to your favorite songs. I wish I could have handed you a magic wand and we could re-live all those days we missed out on.
Hey, Grandpa Rich. I know this sucks, that it had to go this way. And I wish you could be reading this with your human eyes. I wish you were a bigger part of my life, and I yours. I wish so many things Grandpa Rich.
But at least now, you're dancing in heaven with Jesus. At least now, you can walk and talk and move around again.
I wish you knew how much I actually do love you.
Hey, Grandpa Rich.
Save me a place in heaven.

Entry Fifteen: The Porcelain Doll

Delicate. Beautiful. Unique.
Her porcelain skin as fragile as an emotion, Her painted on mouth was pulled to a smile. Her eyes wide open, were painted to. She sat among the shelf with the other toys and dolls and every other lost memory and hope. She couldn't cry. She had to smile. Smiling made people less worried. And worrying is not what she wanted others to do. So she rested atop that shelf, smiling all the while. Waiting. Just waiting.

Entry Fourteen: What If Then

What if someday down the road
When we meet again
When we're reminiscing
What if then,
You say to me
"Remember back in High school..."
And you reveal all of your secret feelings.
What if that happens.
What if someday you tell your kids
About the girl you had a crush on,
What if then,
When you think of me
Your heart starts to race
And all those feelings flood your body
And all you can do
Is hope
And wish
And know I felt the same way too
That back during those days
When we talked, teased, and joked
Around in class
Back then when you'd stare at my ass
When you wished I was yours
And I wished you were mine
We both would be thinking of the good old times
What if then you made your move and all that you had to do
Is say "I feel the same way too."

Entry Thirteen: Hurry It Up!

Hey Autumn, are you almost here?
Don't get me wrong I ADORE Summer. But I am head-over-heels in LOVE with Autumn.
The cool, crisp air that kisses your skin. The colors of the leaves that crunch when you step on them. The smell of fireplaces. The Apple Tasting Festival. The haunted Houses and Corn Mazes. Football games.The feeling of joy when you sip that hot coco. The happiness that floods your body after your team scores. Cheering at the top of your lungs after the game winning touchdown. Hoodies and cowgirl boots. Jeans, jackets, Uggs. The perfect temperature for oversized sweatshirts. The start of the school year. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Turkey. Jack-o-lanterns. Pumpkin patches and hay rides. Filling yourself with utter terror as you watch scary movies. Sweatpants. Warm fuzzy feelings.
Autumn.
No can you see why I want you to hurry?
My heart gets happy when I think of you Autumn.

Entry Twelve: His Masterpiece

There was a time in her life when she would look in the mirror and see nothing of beauty, a time when her love for life and herself did not exist. She was an average girl with an average face, average brown hair, and average brown eyes. To the world she was a no one, to herself she was useless, but to God she was beautiful.
God tried to convince her everyday, with no success. She wanted to be prettier, she wanted to be thinner. She was unaware of God's love for her. The world fed her lies with the help of the enemy. "You must be a size zero if you ever want anyone to love you." "Coat your face in makeup otherwise you resemble an animal." "All the cool girls wear this or that." She walked through the jungle of lies. She hated her reflection, the constant reminder that she wasn't perfect made her cringe every morning.
The contributions her family made to tell her she was "less than" discombobulated her self-esteem. At this point she fear every social interaction due to constant harassment. She wanted to be like everyone else, but to fit in was to be the flower growing through the snow- impossible. She fought everyday with the devil's lies.
Until she heard God whisper in her ear, "You, daughter, are my beautiful masterpiece, I made you in my image. I love you."
She responded, "But God, how am I a masterpiece? I resemble nothing of those girls on TV. I am a sinner because I hate myself. LORD! How could you love me! How am I beautiful?!"
God touched her face gently, raising her eyes to meet his. "Look at me daughter, you need not resemble women who steer so far from Me. Look, daughter, your heart is full of hate but I have forgiven you. Look, daughter, the words you are hearing are lies from the pit of hell. I made you, daughter, more beautiful than the sun, you are my proudest creation. Look, daughter, my love for you never ends and therefore you can live in love eternally. Daughter, YOU are MY masterpiece."

Entry Eleven: Prince Charming

Growing up, us girls relied on the idea of Prince Charming. We dwelled on his ability to make any princess (which we all know we believed ourselves to be) fall in love with him and live " happily ever after."

But as we reached the years of middle school and high school, we figured out most of us are destined to be Cinderella before the ball. Without our Prince Charming.
What unrealistic property does, so called, Prince Charming possess that is capable of making us swoon?
Who is he anyways?
In the storybooks, Mr. Prince Charming has a delightful appearance, shimmery blue eyes, sun kissed skin, and silky smooth hair. And a CASTLE, for crying out loud. As a six year old, to live in a castle was my life time goal.

Its quite apparent that the "typical Prince Charming" no longer exists. I'm not saying there aren't any nice guys anymore, that's not my point at all. I'm just saying our childhood dreams of having a prince have to catch up to the adult reality in which we live.

Although, we don't get a chance to be won over by Prince Charming, we get the greatest opportunity of them all-- the chance to be loved forever by the Prince of Peace: Jesus. And, let me tell you, he makes Prince Charming look like a dope.

Do understand what I just said?

Jesus will LOVE us FOREVER. He will LOVE YOU FOREVER.

Isn't that why we chase after Prince Charming, for love?

Not only will He love you, but he wants to protect you from everything, yes, even something bigger than a dragon. And Jesus wants us to live in his castle, he wants us in Heaven. Isn't it great to think a Prince wants YOU in his castle? In fact, he has a place saved up for you. A place special for you. A place with your name chiseled into gold. A place for you to live with him forever.
Here's another secret, he already knows who you are, no need to try and impress him, as long as you love him.
He's waiting for you with out stretched arms and a smile brighter than the sun. He wants to show how much you, his princess, mean to him. He loves you.

So, I say we should give up our chase after Prince Charming, let Cinderella have him. We should give up our search for never ending love because we know no one on this earth has as much love as Jesus. We should stop, call on Jesus, and allow him to run his river of everlasting love over us. So we, too can live with him happily ever after and spread it to others.

Prince Charming doesn't seem so magnificent now, does he?

Entry Ten: Summer Freedom

Woah! Hold up there time, could you slow down a bit!
Doesn't it seem as though, just yesterday, it was the first day of school? Getting reacquainted with your peers, the school building and the idea of being in that one building for seven hours a day, Where has the year gone!? Now we're standing on the opposite side of the school year, waiting to take ahold of our summer freedoms and run. Summer is literally just around the corner. It is so close I can taste it- it tastes like days at the beach with sunscreen, ice cream in the backyard, and swimming at the community pool. It tastes like freedom. Summer Freedom is the ability to sleep in, stay up late, swim, tan, and just enjoy time making new memories with your closest friends.
Summer freedom is on the other side of this glass window pane, I can see it, I can taste it but its still out of reach. Knocking on the window is useless. The only way this window will open is with the ringing of the school bell at 11:30, after your last final. Only then will we be able to run free, dancing, jumping with joy of the anticipation of summer. Only then will the chains of school that have bound us for nine months be unlocked. Only then will we taste summer and grasp our Summer Freedom!

So here's to a not bummer summer. Here's to Summer 2013!