Entry Seven: What is Love?

Love.
Many people, high school students, throw this word around like a baseball. Do they have the slightest idea of what LOVE actually means?
Or do they say it just to say it. Love is not knowing someone for two days.
"I love you." should be a scared phrase said amongst those who truly, deeply love one another.
Love is when you would do anything for that person, sacrifice time to show them, lay your own life down for them. That is love. A Marine coming home from war seeing his wife again, meeting his six month old daughter for the first time- he knows what love feels like.
Love looks past all of the blemishes in a persons soul and sees something spectacular.
Love is an adoptive mother meeting her child for the very first time after crossing the Atlantic ocean to a foreign country.
Love is the grandson grasping onto his grandaddy's hand has he says his last goodbyes.
Love is the tears shed when your best pal, your dog , dies unexpectedly.
Love is the answer to many questions.
Love is the sparkling tear in a father's eyes as he gives his princess away on her wedding day.
Love is the laughter between sisters as they talk about life.
Love is the hugs and kisses from a mother as she watches her baby, all grown up, drive away from home for the last time.
Love cares only about one's heart, not of outside appearance.

Love could change the world.

Entry Six: Prom?

Deep inside I want to be asked to prom next year, but I known I just won't be. Its hard to be a girl with morals and values in this society. Guys are asking girls who are "easy" to prom, just because they know for a fact that at the end of the night they can get inside their pants.
Its hard to be the one "respected too much to be asked to prom." Well you know what! Being respected, yeah that's nice, but just because I have morals and limits doesn't mean I don't want to be asked to prom. Its a rights of passage to girls in American society. And it is unfair. If you respect me, then don't get a hotel room, ask me to prom to dance not with the intentions of banging me afterwards. That should not be the focus of your night. You should respect yourself as well, don't make yourself think about being laid by some bomb chick. Respect yourself and the girl. Because it is unfair that the "better" people are treated like dirt. While the scum is treated like royalty.
And the generation before us wonders why our society is taking a huge dip down hill. Sex is treated like an object of recreation not an action of love.
Prom? Yes to go with you on a night of fun and dancing not to have sex with you in a hotel room for the meaning of recreation: not love.

Entry 5: Ordinary

This is a poem I wrote 2 years ago for my freshman English Class. I recently found it and reread it. 

Ordinary

On the outside I may seem strong

Never scared

Never hurt

But on the inside

I’m full of doubts

Worries

Fear

And

Hurt, from the way you treat others

On the surface I may seem happy

But deep within I am saddened

By the way you talk about me

The words you use

And how you describe my family

On the outside I am confident

But underneath I am scared

Scared of the unknown

Scared of messing up

Scared of looking like a fool

Scared of never being excepted

Excepted by you

By this world

Some times I feel like I am

On the other side of a window

Looking in

But never receiving

On the surface I may look like you

With my hair straightened

And make up done

With my en-expensive wardrobe

And my fairly white teeth

Brown hair, brown eyes

But within I’m nowhere near like you

I care about my body

And what I do with it

I use my words for build-ups

Not knock-you-downs

On the surface I may seem ordinary

Plain

Dull

Nothing new

But that’s all that you see.

That’s not me.

Underneath; as I peel off the layers

Like coming in from the cold

I begin to show you who I am

Make it clear to you

That I am not

Nor will I ever be

ORDINARY!

For I am ME

Entry Four: Respect, Love, Kindness

The realization that you have been lost in your own life for so long, is a hard one to face.
Why is it that we seem to forget about the most important thing in our lives- the people who love and care about us? It is a sad reality that thousands of people don't receive the love and appreciation they deserve.

Today, I faced this reality. I have forgotten whats most important to me. The hussle and bussle of life- school, sports, the musical- has fogged my vision. I have forgotten why I wake up every day. I have forgotten what my purpose is.

I have been Lost. Lost in my own life. I have been buried beneath the stresses and pressures a highschooler faces daily. I have realized now, that I have been so buried deep, not even a search and rescue team of human proportion could save me. And, quite obviously, I can't save myself. But, today, I have been found, not by an animal, or a person, but by my Heavenly Father. I now remember the purpose I am to serve, and that is one of LOVING people no matter what.

My goals in life are to:
Respect people of every race, gender, age.
Spread Kindness wherever I go.
and most importantly
LOVE without discriminating.

The world in which we live would not be able to function smoothly until EACH AND EVERY member of society decides within themselves to make a difference, big or small.

All I'm asking you to do, is SMILE at someone as you pass by them, hold the door open for them, or ask them how their day has been.
These small acts of kindness will push society to be able to prosper.

So, can YOU smile today?

Entry Three: Attack of the Friendzone

A lot of us understand what its like to be friend zoned. It sucks. The person you are close to is too blind to see that you obviously like like them. You want to tell them how you feel, but don't want to risk the friendship you have created with this person.
I know this feeling all to well.

Freshman year I had met this guy, he was attractive, nice, and funny. Over the first semester we became pretty close, texting often, walking to our four classes together, and sitting by each other due to where our last names were in the alphabet. I realized that through our little jokes, late night texting conversations, and smiles as we saw each other in hall, that I really, actually had my first real crush. My first legit crush on a guy I referred to as my "best guy friend". Now, how was I to process this. Do I tell him? Obviously not. Our friendship isn't worth the risk. Anyways he probably only saw me as the dorky friend. But, what if he liked me back?

I decided I was going to keep my little crush to myself, probably one of the things I regret about freshman year.
I told myself I'd get over it and that he didn't like me, despite our classmates telling us we were like an old married couple. "Couple" yeah that's a nice word , too bad we weren't.

Sophomore year came rolling in. We had one class together. How unfair. Still, I kept my secret crush a secret. I let him copy the work off of me, how could I not he was still my best guy friend.

We only have one more year together, as this is our Junior year. I have been DYING to tell him. But yet the risk still lingers, like the body odor of a preteen boy. The topic always comes up, "who do you like?", he'll ask. My heart skips and my brain somersaults. "Y-O-U!" But the letters only rattle around in my head, what I wish I would have said. Instead I bring up some other guy as an attempt to render him jealous. And he, like likes some other girl. It stings hearing him talk about her. It shatters every last piece of my heart to see them together. Yet, he's my friend and I want what's best for him. She is not it.

My regret is still remaining as I clinch onto my little secret. I should have told him 2 years ago. But its too late now.