Entry Three: Attack of the Friendzone

A lot of us understand what its like to be friend zoned. It sucks. The person you are close to is too blind to see that you obviously like like them. You want to tell them how you feel, but don't want to risk the friendship you have created with this person.
I know this feeling all to well.

Freshman year I had met this guy, he was attractive, nice, and funny. Over the first semester we became pretty close, texting often, walking to our four classes together, and sitting by each other due to where our last names were in the alphabet. I realized that through our little jokes, late night texting conversations, and smiles as we saw each other in hall, that I really, actually had my first real crush. My first legit crush on a guy I referred to as my "best guy friend". Now, how was I to process this. Do I tell him? Obviously not. Our friendship isn't worth the risk. Anyways he probably only saw me as the dorky friend. But, what if he liked me back?

I decided I was going to keep my little crush to myself, probably one of the things I regret about freshman year.
I told myself I'd get over it and that he didn't like me, despite our classmates telling us we were like an old married couple. "Couple" yeah that's a nice word , too bad we weren't.

Sophomore year came rolling in. We had one class together. How unfair. Still, I kept my secret crush a secret. I let him copy the work off of me, how could I not he was still my best guy friend.

We only have one more year together, as this is our Junior year. I have been DYING to tell him. But yet the risk still lingers, like the body odor of a preteen boy. The topic always comes up, "who do you like?", he'll ask. My heart skips and my brain somersaults. "Y-O-U!" But the letters only rattle around in my head, what I wish I would have said. Instead I bring up some other guy as an attempt to render him jealous. And he, like likes some other girl. It stings hearing him talk about her. It shatters every last piece of my heart to see them together. Yet, he's my friend and I want what's best for him. She is not it.

My regret is still remaining as I clinch onto my little secret. I should have told him 2 years ago. But its too late now.